Having seen the positive review of the wooden paddles from Bella Louise on Dirty Little Whispers blog, I was compelled to get a couple to join the old leather belt and leather paddle in my wife’s arsenal. I had a choice of four different wooden paddles to choose from – the paddle with a split, the wide paddle with a split, the cane and the spank paddle with both holes and a split. I chose the two latter varieties.

The total cost was around £35 and it took under a week to be delivered; Bella Louise used Hermes for my delivery and they happily left the parcel with my neighbour (this is the sixth parcel delivered for me in four weeks that has contained sexual implements; I am sure they are suspecting something but it came in a normal, unsuspecting plain brown box!)

The first thing I noted as I unwrapped them in the copious amounts of bubble-wrap was not only how light the paddles felt, but also how long they were. I didn’t anticipate them being quite as long, but they are over half-a-metre in length: it’s a lot of paddle for your pound!

The finish on them is superb: they look and feel like a quality piece of craftsmanship. They are sturdy and smooth to the touch, with an alluring pseudo-varnish smell to them. Each paddle can be personalised with an embossed name on the handle (my wife’s name is on ours) which I think is a fantastic touch. The paddles are, according to the website, solid Oak and are finished with Danish Oil to help preserve them as they are used to repeatedly punish to errant husbands (and wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc)

I couldn’t wait to be on the receiving end of the paddles, and I was “treated” a little later to a few strokes of our new toys. With the leather paddle we have, I could feel the pending strike before it made contact with the skin. I got a feel of the air flow and instantly clenched my buttocks subconsciously in readiness for the contact that was about to be made; that did not happen with Bella Louise’s wooden paddles.

The eleven holes in the wooden paddle are designed to reduce air resistance and drag, and therefore to assist the wielder of the weapon and ensure they do not tire. What it also does, is offer the recipient of the paddle no warning of the impending onslaught against their exposed and vulnerable flesh.

The pain from the strike was stronger than just about anything I have ever experienced, and my wife said she wasn’t hitting me “that hard.” The paddle does not bend or yield, unlike a leather or plastic implement, and when it hits the flesh, it stings painfully! After a few hits there was the start of an impressive bruise on my buttocks and the tell-tale reddening glow of a well-spanked pair of cheeks was evident.

The cane was similar, only that the pain was more concentrated across the cheeks: this was expected due to the narrower surface area of the strike. Between the two paddles, I had a dozen strikes and felt tears starting to well up in my eyes; I think I need some more practice with them!

My wife reported that the grip of the paddle to be comfortable and the paddles were a comfortable weight in her hand when wielding them. She also told me that she struck me softly with them and that I had taken “much harder hits” with our leather paddle. This I am almost inclined to disagree with!

To misquote a popular saying, the proof is in the paddling, and this is what my bottom looked like after four “firm but not hard” spanks of the cane.

So, in conclusion, excellent paddles with superb craftsmanship that can be personalised, available from a UK seller at an excellent price.

UK readers can win two paddles from Bella Louise here, and Bella Louise are currently offering 10% off with the code “BL0152#”